Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Cut Off

I think the depression is coming back.

I feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. The glass wall is back up, cutting me off from everything around me.
Either I am real and everything else isn't, or I'm the illusion - I think that's probably the case.

I don't care about samba. I don't care that it's Halloween soon, and Christmas after that. I have a work night out soon and I don't want to go. I'll just be in everyone's way, stopping them having fun. That's what I do. People always have more fun when I'm not there.



At 11:23 pm, Blogger Nettie said...


I'm sorry you feel this way sweetie. My fertility psych said that there are certain anti-depressants that are safe to take while pregnant - are any of those suitable for you?

At 11:29 pm, Blogger Mouse said...

I don't know - my doctor said I had to come off my usual ones, and they'd much prefer if I didn't take anything. That's the problem - if I start a course of anything we can't try for another baby until next summer...

At 12:05 am, Blogger Tah said...

I'm sorry, MM. I don't have any advice or questions, but I definitely have good wishes. I hope things work out and you get feeling better soon.

At 8:47 am, Blogger Shawna said...

Oh, Mouse....:(

Wish I could do something more for you. Know that we love you and enjoy having you around. Hope you feel better soon.
*more hugs*

At 11:52 am, Blogger Smerk said...

That last line is totally wrong. I know I wouldn't have had half as much fun this October if you hadn't have been here!

And you could be a lot worse - I had lunch with a friend who took herself off to the psych ward at the local hospital the day before my birthday. And she's probably going to be there for a few more weeks while they sort out her new meds cocktail.

Oh, and my word verification is "wardil" Ward against ill! Yay!

At 2:22 pm, Blogger NEO said...

I think I can understand what you are going through, having had depression problems my whole life as the result of some very tramatic events early in my life.
I used to not even talk unless absolutely necessary, I still don't much.
I try to convince myself that I am the way I am, and if someone doesn't like it, that is their problem. I am not obnoxious, or mean or anything like that.
And I am sure you are not stopping the fun, that is just the demons of depression lying to you.



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